Monday, May 5, 2014

Let's Talk About Sex

I stumbled across a very interesting video on the Internet today.  I found it amazingly fitting for this blog and what I have gone through.  If you also have a sexual disconnect in your marriage I would really recommend watching it. 

One line I really liked is "Sex is not an aphrodisiac."  The video was wonderful for pointing out the position of the opposite partner.  I have found that the more I understand where my husband is coming from and what is going on in his head, the better I can sort out the discrepancy between our desire. 
"Healthy relationships are based on mutual caretaking"
I think that this words perfectly, exactly what I have been trying to get at!  If you want your marriage to be thriving and filled with love you need to take care of your spouse and you need them to take care of you.  My job in my marriage is to make sure I meet the needs of my husband, and I'm not just talking sexually.  The problem is, my focus in on the things that I want and need.  I have a tendency to give him what I want because I make a (untrue) assumption that we both want the same things.  Yes, there is a benefit to treating people in the manner in which we would like to be treated but that doesn't mean they put the same value on those actions as we do.  If I take care of my husband then he will be more willing to take care of me too.  Not that I should only do nice things for him just for the possibility of getting kindness in return.  Sometimes he will need more care than I will and other times it will be the other way around.

As you know, my husband and I have experienced a sexual disconnect for a lot of our marriage and I have been blessed by the resolution of a lot of those problems.  Yes, we did a lot of work to get there and they didn't just go away on their own but we have come a long way. 

I hope you enjoy this video and that it is helpful to you too.

No comments:

Post a Comment